“Sometimes knowing what you want is not enough, you have to learn how to get it. It’s the ‘how’ that paves the way to your destiny” – Sotho Girl Diaries”
No legal advice talk or how to save money tips, or what I got up to this month. This post is a self-reflection on how deeply anxious I was before turning 25, specifically the fear of not having achieved much. If you are going through these motions right now, then perfect, you definitely know that you are capable of achieving more. Let’s go!
“If you know your purpose and your dream, then it will always come to your rescue at an opportune moment, only if you take action” ~ Sotho Girl Diaries
I wish I could play you a video showing how frantic I was before turning 25. I dreaded the thought, the feeling and the day. I basically felt like I was a quarter-to 💯, or I was 100 years and had not achieved much in my life. I really needed to get my life together. At the time I was in my second year of Masters and legit thought okay, I have my first degree in the bag, I have my dream car and a dream job, so now what? ShweShweKini was still in the pipelines then, but this blog was already up and running. However, I still needed something that could ‘feel’ like 25, something close to opening for Beyoncé or giving a graduation speech to a group graduates at an Ivy League University. That feeling of #MamaIMadeIt ! You feel me? I needed something tangible that symbolized my 25th birthday and I am here to tell you that if you also feel like this today, it’s okay. You are not crazy, you just have bigger and scarier dreams.
To ignore the feeling, I basically planned birthday celebrations over three cities (Cape Town, Welkom and Sun City).
1. Starting with an “All-White” themed buffet breakfast in Cape Town with a few friends.
2. Spending my actual birthday (21 March) with my family.
3. Finally, ending it off with a girl’s trip to Sun City over the weekend with my friends.
Me and my girls in Sun City, March 2017
It was so perfect, I could almost frame the whole experience. I felt good during these celebrations, but I still felt unfulfilled afterwards. I needed more in life, more than just a passing experience that I could only indulge in once a year. I also felt bored and going to work to sit in an office all day and head to campus afterwards no longer gave me a “groove” – that kick or that thrilling rush of finishing a case or passing an assignment. I needed more, I needed the spotlight, I needed change.
I already had my business ShweShweKini in the pipeline and at the time I was not aware that it would turn out to be just the thing that I needed to help me feel complete at 25 years old.
“You are always one idea away from changing your whole life” ~ Sotho Girl Diaries
Soon after May 2017, after the launch of ShweShweKini, I had finally found my missing puzzle, my purpose came for me and introduced me to a world I had always imagined for myself. At that point we were making waves on social media and my emails and social media apps were constantly buzzing with notifications and queries from interested clients and celebrities. I knew then that I was onto something bigger than myself, I found my voice, I found my niche, I found my tribe, but more than anything I my dream rescued me.
“You cannot be what you cannot see and the only limit to your success, is your own imagination” ~ Shonda Rhimes
Later in August, I received an email from Glamour Magazine and they wanted to feature me in their Women’s Day online supplement for #WomenWhoMakeThingsHappen. I have never felt this amazing in my entire life.
Thereafter, I entered the Foschini Sebenza Girl Competition and wrote a blog post on why they should pick me as the winner. And do you know what? I won! I got flown up to Johannesburg for a shoot and later again for the actual event where the winners were introduced. That was amazing! I got to meet former Miss South Africa Liesel Laurie and so many other women doing great things.
Foschini Sebenza Girl Competition Winner 2017
Looking back at this age, I just wish I had slowed down a bit (I know I wouldn’t have anyways). But I wish I could have just aimed more at my goals than rushing to achieve big things at age 25. Safe to say that year was the longest, most challenging and full year of my life! I accomplished more than I had in the past 24 years of life. I was not only juggling a full-time job with full-time studies and a blog, but I had added one more thing to my busy life – Shweshwekini.
Since then I have really learnt to not stress out at every birthday anniversary and to really just admire growing gracefully and achieving my own goals on my own time. That has put off a lot of pressure as I don’t use my age as a measure of how far I’ve come, but I let my work speak for itself and lead the way.
The experience was definitely worth it and I do not have any regrets about following my dreams, taking a leap of faith to recognize my potential and opening new opportunities for myself.
If you are going through a similar phase in your life (mind you, we all go through this at some point in life), just know it is okay and just keep pushing your dreams and remember that the only way you will get out of that phase is if you take action. Recognize this as a call to action and not an opportunity for you to drown in stress and feelings of inadequacy. You are not alone on this journey and you definitely have people who are going through a similar phase with you.
In my next blog, I will discuss how I juggled a full-time job, studies, a blog and my business.
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Until then visit my website www.shweshwekini.com to continue shopping !